There’s a circulation of a particular phenomenon that is leaving us with head-scratching distaste time and time again that we personally find unacceptable – blaming the computer. Not sure what we’re getting at? Well, for instance, this weekend we had to deal with a shit-storm of stupidity along the lines of online servers being down, phone and email support not answering, and people flat-out barely helping with the one little thing we wanted to do, which was fork over a pile of cash. And the worst part about this whole experience is that this is the 2ND YEAR IN A ROW that this has happened. Does nobody prepare for days that are arguably the busiest for your business every year time and time again? It’s not like this snuck up on anybody – it’s the same day every freakin’ year. Maybe cash has lost it’s appeal, but it seems to us that if you had somebody trying to give you a pile of money from multiple directions that you’d cater to their inconvenience and sort them out any way you could.

Now, we suffered through the hours of being on hold while dealing with the pathetically over-capacity-flat-on-its-back-dead online option, and finally yielded results after just over 24 hours. Sound insane? It gets better. We obviously weren’t the only people this customer service atrocity impacted, so a public address was nothing short of expected. But when the time came for this, no satisfaction was felt. This company, instead of providing an even slightly believable or reasonable excuse did the total opposite.The flat-out pathetic attempt that was provided by this organization (who we’re leaving unnamed out of the good of our hearts, not out of fear of persecution) was reminiscent of the line “Sorry for the inconvenience guys, we hate computers.”

SERIOUSLY?! That’s the BEST you’ve got? How does anybody have enough faith in you to let you be a marketing director, let alone a PR practitioner. News flash everybody – computers have been around since the 1940’s and aren’t going anywhere, so grow the f@&% up and stop being a whiner about it. Blaming your organization’s inept technology and customer service on “hating computers” isn’t even an acceptable excuse for a 4-year-old because, guess what, most children can use computers nowadays. The problem herein lies with the technologically handicapped dinosaurs that are still somehow at the forefront of these organizations, in combination with people who are flat-out lazy and for some reason think it’s “okay” to blame your ineptitude and lacking knowledge on the piece of technology that fuels their entire business from the ground up. Without computers, you literally wouldn’t exist, so here’s an idea, how about you actually tell your public what happened instead of dishing out a piss-poor excuse that you, your gentleman’s club and your wrinkly wife may find acceptable, but has now unfortunately publicly declared you an idiot. You probably think that a computer and the internet are the same thing don’t you…

This brings us to our main point: stop being negligent of necessary means. What we’re saying here is if your career is dependent on something, it’s not cute to be like “haha, oops, sowwy, my computer no workey”. Grow up. Learn how to use it. If you can’t, pay someone to show you. If that doesn’t work, get somebody working that god-damn keyboard that knows what the hell they’re doing instead of your dusty bones. And no, this isn’t an attack on old people either; we’ve first hand witnessed capable 60+ year old adults who are fully computer adequate because (surprise, surprise) they recognized them as a necessity and decided to take the time to learn how to use them! Anybody who in this day and age just brushes off technology as an excuse for their laziness and lacking aptitude deserve a serious Mike Tyson sized slap.
Oh, and by the way, when you tell somebody that you don’t know how to use the/my “Adobe”, let’s clarify one more thing – Adobe is a company, and not a program, you moron. Adapt or die…seriously. You’re running out of time.

Yes, we’re being cold and mean, but so is the world, and we’re not sorry.

 

image courtesy of  ffo-sesp